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Definitive Disney Rankings!
Jul. 31st, 2024 03:21 amWay back in 2020, I decided that I was going to watch every Disney animated theatrical release in order of release date. Disney+ was new and shiny and I was feeling depressed, overwhelmed, and in desperate need of comfort, so I thought, hey! Disney movies! the obvious choice of comfort food, but with a little spice thrown in--all of them, regardless of quality, just to see how it goes. I got a little more than halfway through, and then Lisa was like, "Wait, I want to watch these with you!" and I was like, "heck yeah!" and then......we...never watched them. Got distracted by other things. Which was fine! But I've had this Unfinished Project Itch since then, so this summer I sat down and decided to start over and actually finish this time.
And as of yesterday, I have! 57 movies, from Snow White to Wish, from 1937 to 2023. Some were amazing, some were truly terrible, some were bad but I love them anyway. It was absolutely fascinating to see the progression of animation techniques (Disney has been great at water since day 1; I miss 2D; their 3D facial proportions need help) and the deep ups and downs of the story writing. I was surprised by which old faves held up to the test of time and nostalgia and which ones...didn't, and I felt vindicated about several of the movies I have historically disliked. It was great.
Here are my definitive rankings, from personal favorite to personal least favorite. I did this just for me, so if you don't agree, you can make your own list.
S-Tier: Favorites
A-Tier: Yes, Thanks!
B-Tier: Solid
C-Tier: Full of Meh
D-Tier: Nah, Thanks
F-Tier: Big Nope!
And as of yesterday, I have! 57 movies, from Snow White to Wish, from 1937 to 2023. Some were amazing, some were truly terrible, some were bad but I love them anyway. It was absolutely fascinating to see the progression of animation techniques (Disney has been great at water since day 1; I miss 2D; their 3D facial proportions need help) and the deep ups and downs of the story writing. I was surprised by which old faves held up to the test of time and nostalgia and which ones...didn't, and I felt vindicated about several of the movies I have historically disliked. It was great.
Here are my definitive rankings, from personal favorite to personal least favorite. I did this just for me, so if you don't agree, you can make your own list.
S-Tier: Favorites
- Tangled -- What, like it’s MY fault that they built Flynn specifically for me? It’s been 14 years and I still get goosebumps from this movie. I only wish they had proportioned Rapunzel’s face correctly.
- Sleeping Beauty -- The art is unique and stylized and just absolutely beautiful, Maleficent is the most dramatic bitch and I adore her, and Phillip is, objectively, the best prince. And Aurora still gives me unrealistic hair goals.
- Pocahontas -- The backgrounds are gorgeous; the water, mist, and smoke animation is unearthly amazing; and I am such a damn sucker for a forbidden romance. But also like hooo boy can you be more problematic? yikes.
- Treasure Planet -- I love everything about this movie except the stupid robot.
- Mulan -- Everything about this movie is so good, the music, the character designs, the voice acting—listen, Eddie Murphy was kind of an inspired casting decision—the whole everything in the Imperial City. Just a banger of a movie.
- Raya and the Last Dragon -- I don’t know why this movie resonates with me so much, but it does. I just love it. It’s beautiful, Awkwafina is an inspired casting choice, and I know it’s broken but I still love it.
- Aladdin -- Great characters, beautiful animation, wonderful music, magic carpet, the unparalleled Robin Williams… what’s not to love?
- Moana -- This movie is just so beautiful and the music is great and the voice acting is amazing and one day I will make it through without crying, but today is not that day.
- Robin Hood -- Always, always one of my favorites. Great character designs, really fun sequences—episodic but not completely vignette-y—and an actually decent Robin Hood adaptation, too. Not enough Merry Men, though.
- Lion King -- This has lost some luster for me (I may have seen it too many times, also dead dad), but is still beloved. Particularly, I love the facial animations, the music, and Jeremy Irons.
- Big Hero 6 -- A movie that just feels special. I love everything about it (except Fred).
- Zootopia -- The best children’s movie about prejudice ever, also I love a hot fox con man, that is not my fault.
A-Tier: Yes, Thanks!
- Beauty and the Beast -- Huge nostalgia for this one both because it is Mom’s favorite and because of the musical. I recognize the many, many problems, but I still just love it.
- Peter Pan -- I know it is offensive, but, god, I love this story. Tink is great, Peter is such a little shit, and I am such a sucker for both of the duels.
- Emperor’s New Groove -- My only complaint is that I can never see this movie for the first time again, because it is still one of the funniest things ever but it was screamingly funny the first time.
- 101 Dalmatians -- Extremely charming opening credits, sketchy art that feels very casual and fun, and a wonderfully coherent story line. Love Sgt Tibs and the Colonel.
- Aristocats -- Negative points for racism and unfinished-looking art; bonus points for cute kitties (minus Marie), both parts with Edgar and the dogs, Eva Gabor, and me still just loving this dumb movie.
- Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh -- Utterly charming, clever playing around with animation and the book motif, absolutely classic and comforting. Perfect whimsy.
- Great Mouse Detective -- Charming and fun, by far my favorite take on Holmes and Watson, although I do have several questions about mouse society. Rattigan remains one of my favorite Disney villains, and the whole fight in Big Ben is one of my favorite sequences.
- Cinderella -- I think I will always love this movie, especially the romance of it. More mice content than I recall, but I love the mice, so I’m not mad about it.
B-Tier: Solid
- Wreck-It-Ralph -- Solid, fun, so colorful and sweet, and they clearly had fun making all the different video game references and animations. A delight.
- Princess and the Frog -- I adore Tiana but her movie is a mess with a very confused message about working hard for your dreams. Naveen’s voice actor can stay forever.
- Bolt -- Okay, that was just adorable. Loses points for John Travolta, idk what to say. Gets lots of points for Mittens.
- Wish -- Just plain Odd. Veery meta, the songs aren’t particularly catchy or singable, and they got so caught up in getting their easter eggs in that they forgot to make a solid story. But I love Star so much, so points for him.
- Encanto -- I think I bounce off of this movie for the same reasons so many people love it and relate to it. I like Mirabel, but I find it really horrible to watch everyone be mean to her for an hour and a half.
- Brother Bear -- My desire to hug bears is not helped by this movie, which is a solid, decent offering with questionable musical choices. Kenai is obnoxious. Love everyone else.
- Lilo and Stitch -- Honestly, this movie is spectacular and should probably go higher on this list, but every time I watch it, I just Like it, I don’t Love it, so here it is.
- Fantasia -- a nostalgia-fave, my favorite part is still the Greco-Roman bit and I have not been missing anything by skipping Night on Bald Mountain for the last 25 years.
C-Tier: Full of Meh
- Frozen -- [Loosely] Inspired by [an overheard, third-hand retelling of] the Snow Queen [in a crowded room]. It’s perfectly Fine until Olaf shows up, and then everything, including the plot, derails. I still have big Sister feels about it, though.
- Fantasia 2000 -- Firebird makes the rest of that worth it.
- Hunchback of Notre Dame -- Points for Esmerelda in general, but I just can’t with the tonal shifts. The gargoyles don’t belong in this movie for so many reasons.
- Little Mermaid -- points for being the first Menken/Ashman team up, though I remain robbed of the rest of Fathoms Below. I’d like this movie more if Scuttle were not in it. A lot of the faces are just slightly off? Ursula slays.
- Atlantis -- A little too white-savior-y for me, but I do love all the side-characters a lot.
- Hercules -- Almost painfully stylized art, everyone is kind of ugly, and while I’m not mad they cleaned up mythology for kids, I’m a little miffed that it’s…so, so wrong. BUT! Meg. What can I say? I’m gay.
- Ralph Breaks the Internet -- Extremely funny and so very meta, but a little cringe in places because it was maybe too meta? Idk. Slaughter Race is amazing and I want to play it.
- Jungle Book -- I have a lot of nostalgia for this one, and I like most of the songs, but yeah it needs a plot. To be fair, the book doesn’t have a plot, either.
- Lady and the Tramp -- a fun romp.
- Frozen 2 -- Okay, this movie is Not Good, but 1. I have big Sister feelings, and 2. the water animation is really, really pretty.
- Oliver & Company -- The definition of Meh. Why are stories about New York always Like That? It’s obnoxious. But I am a sucker for an adorable kitty.
- Strange World -- It definitely feels like they made this movie just to show off their jelly physics and electricity effects and everything else was very secondary to the “Stunning Visuals.”
D-Tier: Nah, Thanks
- Tarzan -- Eh, it’s just…fine? It’s fine. Points for there being enough time passing that the love story makes sense, negative points for everything about Clayton and uh… Phil Collins. Why.
- Sword in the Stone -- It’s not bad, it’s just… not good? Pacing is questionable, transitions are non-existent, and it’s not really very much about Arthur, is it? Points because I love Merlin.
- The Rescuers -- I have so many questions about mouse society, the rules of Disney animals, and who thought this movie was for children. Also, now I’m sad.
- Rescuers Down Under -- I have SO MANY QUESTIONS, but the theme music is a banger.
- Fox and the Hound -- I’m not opposed to a sad movie, but like damn I feel bad for the old lady. What the fuck. And boy do I not care about the birds and the caterpillar. At least Disney seems to have taken an anti-trophy hunting stance, at the very least.
- Bambi -- bonus points for having absolutely gorgeous environments and backgrounds. negative points for nothing happening and bad transitions.
- Meet the Robinsons -- Kind of insane, and definitely a strange departure towards Dreamworks’ territory, but the ending was very sweet so. Points for that.
- Winnie the Pooh -- It’s not just that the art is bad and the songs are bad and the story is bad, it’s that they did all that and made everyone incredibly, offensively stupid. And I know why the voices are wrong, but ughhh the voices are wrong.
F-Tier: Big Nope!
- Ichabod and Mr Toad -- more fun than I ever expected, but why they tried to shoehorn these two stories together is a mystery to me.
- Snow White -- so much more dwarf content than I remember, and the pacing is startlingly bad.
- Alice in Wonderland -- things happen to Alice, but she doesn’t get to do much. This movie has never made much sense, and I know that’s the point, but. Not my jam.
- Black Cauldron -- Weird, dark, too much going on for there to be any real emotion or heart, and the plot is choppy and full of holes. Deeply not my jam.
- Three Caballeros -- the music is fun, Donald Duck is obnoxious, it all goes downhill after Brazil.
- Dumbo -- wildly more offensive than I remember, but just as disturbing as I remember.
- Home on the Range -- Inexplicably, Cuba Gooding Jr and Judi Dench have been in a movie together. Isn’t that insane? That’s insane.
- Chicken Little -- No but what the actual fuck was that? Why baseball? WHY ALIENS? WHAT?
- Pinocchio -- big huge Nope from me; didn’t like it as a kid, still don’t like it now. It’s weirdly scary and boring at the same time.
