stardustbunnies | return to the hobbit hole

Ok, so the good news is that I did not have to walk on Lisa's fragile eggshells for the whole rest of the trip. That second day was absolutely miserable, since it turns out it was not heat exhaustion but a quick norovirus coming for a visit. We collectively threw up three times (guess who got to go twice) and were shaking like leaves for the whole afternoon, but when a very late morning rolled around, we both felt much better. Gotta love a 24-hour stomach bug. Sigh.

But, after that, honestly, the trip was almost perfect. Mexico is beautiful and May was the perfect time of year to be there. I love spring, but it was already summer that far south, and I was blossoming. God, I love sea level. My lungs work at sea level. It's so nice to not have to worry about breathing. And my hair sure does love the humidity. Stepped back out into Colordao dryness was a let down. And Lisa was basically crowing with happiness. Opposite climate lovers, here in Apartment Skyhold. Alas. But really, it is good to be back. The cat is happy, and that's the real win here. (lol)

I am deeply glad to be back to normal routine. As much as I love my sister, having her visit right before we left for vacation was kind of hellish in that I had two full weeks of Disruptions. I'm a hobbit--a creature of habit. Always have been. And my heart has been aching for normalcy and comfort zone and routine for a few days now. Today was kind of weird, too, but tomorrow, things should go back to normal. And I am very excited.

I want to take my time getting up, not have to worry about if I'll be too late for breakfast. I want to read my morning newsfeeds and messages without getting out of bed. I want to cherish the sound of Lisa working in the next room, her voice all professional and competent. I want to eat a sandwich. I want to spend my afternoon however I need to, and hang out with Lisa in the evening. I want to watch dumb tv with her while we eat dinner and read together afterward with the cat sitting on me. I want to log in and do some quests with K before she goes to bed. I want my quiet alone time at night, after Lisa's gone to bed and Vela is sitting on her, and I can just hang out in my room with the lights on low and work on projects, make art, dick around on my phone if I want. I want to let El know my wordle score and accidentally fall into a two hour conversation with her about clones. I want to go to game and eat noodles and hang out in space for a few hours. I want to go to bed and not have to worry about tomorrow being different. I am perfectly happy with all my days being the same.

Pastoral? sure. Boring? definitely. But here's a thing I've discovered over the last two weeks: I like my very boring life. Very much. And I'd be content with 90% of my days shaking out to be much the same. Throw in the occasional live theatre performance, museum trip, or board game night, a monthly foray into any bookstore, and weekly dice rolls, and I'm good. Give me all the time in the night to work on art of some kind, afternoons and evenings with my girls, and I'm good. I don't want to do anything else.

And if that makes me boring, I'm not sure I care. I crave the ease of routine, the comfort of repetition, the security of stability. Vacations are nice! But give me a sweet, normal day any time, and I'm here for it.

Of course, I say all this knowing that I'm going to have to start job hunting in earnest now that I'm back from vacation. As much as I want to slip into a bohemian arts-and-crafts stupor and play video games for three weeks straight, the lack of reliable income is starting to gnaw at my stomach. So, I'm going to cherish these last few weeks of blissful routine, of comforting normalcy, before normal changes. Before I have to add new steps to the routine. That's a whole different gnaw in my stomach I need to brace for, but I'm going to do my best to just settle into my comfort zone for as long as I can. As long as I'm allowed. And I'm trying to be ok with that being enough.